Battle for the Bowl

If you've ever raised a child then you know when a 5 year old says, "I gotta go", you find a potty fast. You find one even faster if in addition to the comment they're dancing around as if their bare feet are walking on live coals.

So last night when Jeremiah runs off the bench in the middle of his baseball game and says he has to go potty, we take off for the bathrooms, helmet and all. If my son is willing to miss his at-bat, he has got to go.

I book it to the concession stands and grab the key to unlock the door. We race up to the bathroom door, start to insert the key noticing someone was already in there, when a large boy, probably age 9 or 10 sporting blue lips, no doubt from concession stand slushies, says, "Um, I'm next in line."

I am not sure where the boy has come from but I look at him doing no potty dance and look at my son who is burning his lunch off rather quickly from his dancing, and say, "Well, my son is little and has to go really, really bad. He's also in the middle of a game. So can you let him go next?" The boy tilts his head, eyes rolling upward as if pondering this, then replies, "Um, no."

Shocked was a descriptive understatement. I never even considered "no" as a valid option. Had to hand it to him. He had some moxy to even say no to an adult. Unfortunately he said no to a mother whose boy was about to water his surroundings and was in no mood to acquiese to a blue lipped, non-dancing 10 year old boy.

"Do you really need to go? Because if not, my son needs to go next so that he doesn't wet his pants. So do you think you could let him go?" "Ummmmmm, no."

Now I'm just irritated. He hadn't been in line when we got there so in my book, he lost his place. As the door opened I pushed Jeremiah in the bathroom and closed the door. Negotiations were over. It took Jeremiah 5 seconds, yes I counted, to be done. As we left, I went back out and was about to tell the boy "thanks" and something like, "see, that didn't take long." but the boy was no where around.

Jeremiah took off running to the game and I spotted the boy playing on the playground. He didn't go back over to the bathroom. Just kept playing. I just shook my head, returned the key, and hoped this boy would someday find himself dancing outside a potty asking for cutzies and having someone reply, "Ummmmmm, no!"