Nose News

Friday I called Jeremiah's pediatrician who said he would look at Jeremiah's nose. Jeremiah's pediatrician was great. He gave Jeremiah's nose a good look over. In fact, he spent at least 10 minutes just examining it. He felt for breaks, tested the breathing, looked inside, outside and all around. He then said that because there was so much swelling and bruising that we should do x-rays. If the x-rays showed nothing we could go home but were to come back if the breathing issue hadn't resolved.

Heading over to Radiology was fun. It was a bit of a walk so I showed Jeremiah the word "Radiology" on a sign, showed him the arrows and at each sign he would stop, point to the word, then use his hands to show us which direction we should go. It was very cute because the signs were posted every few feet so we'd walk, stop, walk stop. Nurses would giggle about how cute he was and one lady was excited because she couldn't believe he could read the signs. I explained he had just memorized the word and she said, "Oh." and walked away. I wanted to yell after her, "Hey he's still smart!" But I didn't.

Anyway, at Radiology we got to wait. And wait. And wait. Did I mention we waited? I thought it was going to be miserable. I hadn't packed snacks, books, anything. There were no toys, no books in the very packed waiting room. I was just waiting for Jeremiah to break down from being bored for so long. However, we just looked at one grown up magazine after the other. First it was National Geographic. We talked about space, penguins, alligators, and more. Then we pulled out a Sports Illustrated. It had a basketball player on the front. He held it up and declared, "This is how I got in trouble." I couldn't help but laugh and say, "Yes, that's how you got in trouble." (The trouble being his nose of course.) Then it was a bunch of conservation magazines until finally we were up.

I worried a bit about Jeremiah handling the x-ray procedure. I had done my best to explain what it would look like, what they would do, what it would feel like. But since he can be shy I was afraid he wouldn't stay on the table. Well that was a worry for nothing. We walked in the room and he said, "Look! That's where I lie down! Look that's the big machine that will take my bone pictures!" He hopped right up on the table and layed down even though the technician had to leave the room. I kept my hand by him to prevent him from moving but after the first 2 he said, "Mom, don't touch me. I can be still by myself." So I backed away and since we had to do the x-rays over (his nose was so tiny it was hard to catch it just right) he would put himself in the positions before the tech reached him. I'm not sure she had ever had such a complying 3 year old. Another tech came in to see if she needed help but it wasn't necessary.

After the x-rays Jeremiah asked if he could see them. Even though this tech was swamped she let Jeremiah come back and look at the images. He was fascinated by them and pointed to one and said, "That's my eyes, but only they're not there!" The tech showed him his nose and explained what bone it was. Meanwhile, I am trying to scrutinize the images for breaks or cracks. The images looked good to me. We headed back to the waiting room until the Radiologist could read the images. Back in the waiting room Jeremiah saw another sign. It said "x-ray." He asked, "Why does that say just x and then ray?" (Yes, Jeremiah has started to read, he's just not up to reading words like Radiology yet.) So I explained that x-rays are what the pictures of his bones are called. "Oh! So I got x-rayed." I love how little kids put things together.

As we're sitting there the tech comes in and hands me the phone and says, "the nurse wants to talk to you." I thought that a bit different but hey, I was up for a change of pace. Then my pediatrician's nurse said, "Well it looks like Jeremiah has angulation of the nasal septum with hair line lucency." I said, "I'm sorry, I have no idea what that means." She said, "It looks like he broke or fractured his nose." "Oh." That I understood. Guess this is why they pay a Radiologist the big bucks and not me. So we made arrangements to go back up to the Ped office where she'd give me the ENT info we now needed to see. We went and picked up the CD of his images then followed our signs back to the doctor's office. It turns out the ENT was right down the hall from the pediatrician so we stopped in and they said they could take us at 2. So we rushed home, grabbed a bite to eat, canceled our plans and headed back.

As we waited in the ENT office we looked at more magazines. This little girl, maybe 18 months was there and she walked up to Jeremiah and kissed him on the cheek. I think it took everyone by surprise, most of all Jeremiah. He looked at me with these huge eyes, and then ever so slowly this grin started to spread and he said, "I think she likes me." Later she tried to hand him a magazine and he wouldn't take it. I said, "Jeremiah, she wants to give you that magazine." He replied, "But I don't want it." I laughed. Finally it was our turn and for the upteenth time Jeremiah got to tell his story about what happened to his nose. He had told so many people that day it was beginning to sound like this rehearsed piece.

When the ENT came Jeremiah scooted right up in the chair. The ENT apologized to Jeremiah that he was maybe going to hurt his nose but that he needed to look at it. My son, who I think truly does have nerves of steel, just sat there. He never moved. Never groaned. Never screamed, complained, wiggled. I knew it probably hurt a bit because I saw this solitary tiny tear leak out. It was at that point I realized that this injury probably did hurt him a lot, but he just didn't complain about it. How, I don't know. But I'm glad he's been blessed with the ability to cope with pain for everything he's gone through.

After the ENT examined Jeremiah my day started to turn sour. Maybe it's because my head hurt. Maybe it's because hours at the doctor's and hospital were wearing on me, but I had a really hard time with the ENT. He didn't look at the film. Just read the Radiologist's report. Ok. Fine. But he said, "I don't really know what to tell you. I don't know if he needs the surgery to fix the bones or not. It might be displaced, it might not be. And the breathing, I'm hoping that it's the swelling. I can't be sure. And you know you have about a two week period before it's too late, so this next week if you think we need to do the procedure you should call me and let me know."

I really couldn't believe what I was hearing. Seriously, is there anything he did know? Ok, so maybe in all honesty he can't know, but how in the world am I supposed to know if my son needs the procedure. Isn't that a doctor's call? Isn't that why they go to school for 8 years and then residency? Doesn't my $40 co pay entitle me to more concrete information?

So I asked, "How am I to know if he needs the surgery?" "Well if you think something is wrong." I wanted to raise my voice and shout, "The whole left side of his nose and face is swollen, black and blue and he doesn't get a clear air flow. Of course I think something is wrong!" But I asked again, "What sort of thing am I looking for?" "If you think his nose didn't look right." Again, want to shout same thing as before. "Well what if the swelling doesn't go down enough to tell." "Well I'm hopeful it will."

At this point I knew I needed to just leave. Obviously I was not clicking with this ENT. So I left frustrated. I tried not to focus on my frustration but praised Jeremiah over and over again for his amazing behavior for that entire day. Then when I got home I unloaded on Stuart. So now, Monday morning, I get to desperately try to find an ENT who'll see Jeremiah before we lose our 2 week window. I'm so discouraged about it that it is obviously interfering with my sleep seeing as it's in the middle of the night. At least now it's out of my head and into my journal so I will hopefully be able to sleep now. I just wish Monday would come so I could get started finding an ENT. I am hoping that even if this ENT doesn't know for sure she/he will have a more concrete plan like, "The swelling makes it hard to tell right now but I'd like to see him back in 3 days so I can look again. We can check the breathing too and then I should have a better idea if we should procede with surgery or not." Really, is that too hard? I would think insurance companies would want the doctors to make those decisions, not moms who are already nervous about their child's condition. So here's hoping to better answers next week.

I know for many of you reading these long entries may be laborious but hey, it's how I roll. I have to write it all down. Now off to sleep, hopefully, for me.