Claire has been in school for 3 weeks now and already school has provided many of "those days". Yesterday as I was fixing Claire's hair for school (which she has been protesting more and more these days) and Claire asked me not to comb her hair so much.

"Why not?" I asked. "I'm not combing hard."

"Just don't make it so shiny and pretty." Claire said.

Really confused now I said, "You don't want your hair to look nice?" "No I don't." She replied. "Why not?" "You know mom, I guess in 2nd grade most of my friends comb their own hair. (I'd say that about almost everyone at every grade level but ok) And when my friends comb their hair they don't do a great job. They leave it really tangled and it's not shiny."

"I know. I see it." I said.

"Well, because you do such a good job, kids are always telling me how soft and shiny my hair is and now they keep playing with it and it drives me crazy!"

"Oh. Did you ask them to stop?"

"YES! But they don't."

So now the pieces are fitting together slowly. Claire not wanting ribbons, etc in her hair anymore. Claire wanting pony tails more with no hair left down. So I asked Claire if she wanted to go to school with ratty hair and she said, "Well, just not so shiny." Which, interpreted, means, yes, I want ratty hair, but I'm trying to appease you by breaking it to you softly.

Now I only have a few minutes before the bus and I'm trying to decide how to approach this. I have a mixture of thoughts, feelings, etc. I finally told Claire that as long as she is doing gym and soccer we have to comb through her hair or else when it's time to put the hair up it will be torture for her.

She sighed but relented. And what I told her was truth. Her hair with those curls underneath become total nightmares if left unattended. But I want her to feel comfortable at school--she's already been teased, but not for hair. But then I think this is a conforming issue and if I let her go, then I've taught her to conform. But then I think it's a pride issue and I just can't stand the thought of letting her go to school with "crazy hair." So for now Claire gets help with her hair for school.

*Sigh* I never once thought that my daughter would ever come and ask me to go to school with ratty hair. I suspect this won't be the last shocker I'm in for.